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Wednesday, August 11, 2010

“The Last Flip.”

As I trace back time and  try to  flip through the pages of my life-book…I stop at a diary entry in the middle…it turns out to be..
“The Last Flip.”

3/7/2009
DEAR DIARY,
Despaired of love…
The fake world became my exit door…
My each forward leap was with urge and wishes “no more”…
They call me a ‘SPOILED BRAT’…
Yes I am…
With money as abundant as my anger and smile as meager as love left in me…
They call me a ‘SPOILED BRAT’…
Yes I am…
When people befriend me because of cash…
With them, my moods go off in a flash…
But, I, I stay with them…
Searching the far fetched real fun…
I had to, just because …I saw no other choice…
In front of all, I showcase a hollow poise…
Tired of doing stuff, I myself hate…
To ’drinks, smoke and drugs’…I have become bait…
Left with option…which only cowards opt…
With tears, I climbed up the floor that topped…
Hence I GIVE UP…I give up all worst in me…
By giving up the so called gift…
The gift of “life”…
I jumped off
I jumped off the edge…
*************************
They called me a spoiled brat…
WAS I…???
Or was I misunderstood…uncared or unwanted…
May be, to my ‘self’, I wasn’t just bonded
My contemplated mind asks me-“why you allowed yourself to be   kicked around…?”
AN INSIGHT SUGGESTED “I responded to destiny’s knock more than my own wishful sound…”
Wanting to be someone…
I missed out “who I really was…”
I should have wondered a little…I should have paused…
I AGREE…the above mentioned is a loser’s story…
But still to you…it may bring in glory…
Hope you learn from my obscene demise..
Although…I did fall...but I hope  you  rise
.
Although in this telltale…the moments to accolade me are few…
But I  hope it may throw out the loser in u…
I KNOW IT WILL …
I BID ADIEU…..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,


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