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Thursday, January 13, 2011

SPOTLIGHT

SPOTLIGHT
You walk amidst of a thousand people…many seemingly alike…and u feel the desire to be seen…of course a little strange sounding…a little off the record thing but you feel privileged when an imaginary circular spotlight follows you  when you walk across the stage …
We like being heard don’t we..if not by many but of course by few…wait a minute…let me not talk about you today…
Let me talk about me. I like being known…but my definition of being know is based on parameters different from yours and by this statement I am not underlying your parameters in any senses…no offences but I am proud of my yard stick…:P
I love being appreciated..but excess of sugar spoils the essence of saccharine…a little less sugar is weirdly a great pleasure …probably because you get an idea of how much was exactly missing in the tea…kind of a step towards exactness...but it’s hard to trick this ambitious heart of praise…if you add a pinch more …the taste of the exact amount that was existing, goes off…vanishes…
Anyways the word ‘praise’ is something which has records of taking me off the runway…
I come back rite now..!!!
Where were we…”spotlight” .sometimes I  question is it this greed for being known makes me do what all I do…
Is it the expectation from people around…the fun element…?
Or is it just because you have thought of it all life…or is it about proving yourself that “I got what I wanted”  Seems too short a statement but I guess this stands a close chance to being at the top most of my list titled ‘what drives me’,  or its about the mere passion to work hard for something I don’t know yet…
What is the driving force…I am pondering a little deeper coz I wish to know what drives me…what holds the key to power/energy  in me… “The source” this discussion will lead me to might be too shallow to accept but I guess that’s how sources are…eureka moments strike you when you are sitting all alone…and the best description of the place that suits this discussion is “bathroom…”I am not being sarcastic…I strongly believe…!!!
In fact the sources of greatest discoveries have popped in the simplest of the moments…sometimes under the shadow of tree…Newton.. the lock key that holds all closets safe has its source in merely two awkward shapes fitting into each other…so this is all what motivated me to find the source of “what drives  me”
… you know I started this article with a different perception about the conclusion…the title gives enough of hint about the dilemma I am in…but not many times, but I have been bestowed with enough chances to realize that spotlight is mortal…if not many examples with ‘me’ being the victim of the spotlight disease but I have seen it vanishing with time for many people…sometimes I wonder  how does it still make me work really hard sometimes…I LOVE WORKING HARD…there’s an innate delight in it..
 we know that time is inescapable..it keeps moving… but then something must be stationary with respect to what it is moving…isn’t it…
May be that something is the desire…the charm of the desire..that’s what holds us to this attire of ‘life’…
A crave for achievement…stationary as stone..winds, water influence it…it withers…its shines but stays…,in different forms.
And it escapes with the last breath…the craving of desire is instilled in all…toil polishes it to present success…
I AM READY TO WORK FOR THIS MERE DESIRE…
Yes…and a thousand times over…


Saturday, January 8, 2011

Grey

           GREY
Are right and wrong as demarcated as black and white....
Black doesn’t necessarily indicate that white wasn’t there but leaves us with a doubt that may be black overpowered the stain of white...
But the irony is the mark of black is harder to get off than the stain of white.....
What is right...?
Is it what ought to have happened if things aren’t going as planned
Or
 Whatever is in the RIGHT NOW...?
As a kid, right was white and black was wrong...simple clear and unblemished perception ruled our minds...
But as I have grown and somehow crossed a year more on 4th September...I have realized may be that's not how it is...
May be what ought to be done is right but what if you don't wish to do it...
Does that make you wrong...?
I don’t think so...AT ALL...this is the new entry of grey in the tennis court of right and wrong...
A strike and you fall onto the portion of land outside the demarcated area...
u stand their witnessing the future match that may happen on the basis of what area the ball of thought drops in NOW..They say...life is all about decisions you make...
"They MAKE or BREAK you"...and believe me this clause makes the decision making process even more strenuous...but i guess that’s life...
Everyone comes across this phase of deciding...
From things, friends, new people, the road taken and the road not taken...DECIDE...what if all went wrong...
Give yourself a chance...

Monday, January 3, 2011

JIGSAW



JIGSAW….
As my one and a half year old granddaughter, Joan, goes off to sleep giving me a recreational break ,I wish to recast  as I flip through the life book ,I unseal  something from my gone 6 decades….

“Every moment we weave …
And may be now, I do believe-
That there is a story behind how a picture got on the wall…
Also a story behind how engraved name of two people still stays on the table of tea stall…
Probably also behind why you chose ‘that’ over ‘this’…
There exists a narrative in the backseat of “the moment I felt HIS bliss”…
A tale behind every scar on your face…
An unexpected anecdote behind when you told your parents…”please, I need my space”…
A tale behind the tear the little ‘u’ dropped sitting marooned in your fancy dress…and….
And probably a story behind an abrupt smile amidst of extreme mess…
A story behind “a look back” at someone…
A story behind “I won’t look back”…
A story behind a persistent gaze at yourself in the mirror…
A story behind every performance…
Perhaps a story behind what made you applaud…
A series of events in the shadow of your notion “spotlight is immortal”
And again a string of events at the back of breaching this perception…
Perhaps...
A story behind what made you thank, what made you pray…
A story behind what made you hide, what made you say…
A subconscious story behind your  each trance … 
A story behind a ‘lonely walk’ on a lonely road…
A story behind each stoke of fury…
“And of course a story behind love….”
Each story…
Of gloom or glory…
Though narrated alone…
Complements another tale…
 Dusk is incomplete without dawn…
Dusk fits after dawn…
Sun fits into dawn…
The tale of birds fits into the story of branch…
That of branch into the story of petal…
There exists a bond between all…
Strangely also between, ‘angel’ and ‘the demon fall’
This is HIS jigsaw puzzle..
I complete people’s tale and so do they complete mine…
It’s like water to wine…
Like sun to planets nine…
Like Flame to fire…
Like Rhythm to the ‘pull’ in the piano wire
And thus HE assembles each piece…
A tale of one fits into tale of else …
Like the sound of chime in the resounding hollow bells…
And I silently applaud at HIM being a marvelous player of this game…
As I stand up to clap , my adorable Joan, mimicking me does the same…
And says “dada..u clap,I clap…”
And that’s how she comes out enthusiastically from her nap…!!!
That marked the end of my leisure break …
Perhaps there’s a story behind ‘this story’ for sake ….!!!”