AND IN THE END IT COMES TO ME....

what am about to write today is a scream from the heart...
not intended to preach anything...to disclose anything...
m writing just because i really feel the need to write it down and let this feeling escape through words..
I need to bee independent...
somehow...its like whenever i do something ,deep inside i need a validation from someone around..
and if i have been sitting oppoite to this girl scribbling this...i would have told her "only practice can help you"
but i get so stressed while proceeding when i know whatever i am doing isnt validated by someone...
and this doesnt happen in things i am really passionate about...
i dont feel like asking anyone before i write a couplet...or acting for sake...
but all this isn't going to let me through and i very well know this...
thats what scares me even more...
the fear of initiating  a task can make me breathless !!
GOD ,bless me with courage to take up new things in stride...!!
i really need this support...

 "   Life..."

Life is nothing more than the press of  PLAY  and STOP...
PLAY and your part begins...lots and lots happens in between this 'play' and 'stop'
the twists, turns,monotony,excitement,infatuation,love,relief,anxiety,pain,tears,laughs...
but then....
IT STOPS...
does not really sound very strange to hear all this...this is ONE TRUTH that we subconciously know ...but amidst the daily clanking of life we become oblivious to this fact...
and this strangeness hits in the face when we lose a closed one...someone we had talked with..
stayed with...laughed with...cried with..had cracked jokes on...had been laughed at by...
All comes to stop.........FULL STOP....
Places,people,things,expressions remind us of this lost somebody in every way possible...
THE TRUTH IS they aren't anymore in physical form...but may be if HE takes inn something...he does give back something for sure..and that is----
memories to be cherished..to let go the pain through tears as you flip the pages of the gone-by's life...
The memories may haunt you or make you realise again that this is the LAW of nature and shall go on....without  A FULLSTOP...
the void can't be filled...infact should not be filled..that is all because of the love u shared with them...
but try making the void graceful...with tears of gratitude...tears of love ...
 not with pain...

" SILENCE ...TO ...SPEECH"

 

Away from the daily clanking of forks,

the thump of rock music, the blare of car horns,

the fluteless rhymes...

the resounding holllow crystal chimes ...

Sat the 'silence' glancing the noises ...

the serenity of this silence was such..

that the quiteness of snow falling over previous icy white spread

could be heard so much..

it's this silence which dropped the chill of breeze to my eardrums...

it's this silence which knocks with the grand roar in the sea shell as a distant echo...

this silence, which bolted in itself the expression of love..

sometimes just by a smooth union of eye lashes

and sometimes by the lift of the eye brow...

yes I am talking of this silence...

it wished to 'handover' itself...

to be a part of a deprived shadow..

yet, who would LOVE THIS SILENCE....

LIVE THIS SILENCE...

AND SOMEDAY INDISPUTABLY 'LOSE' THIS SILENCE...

although a proficient silence has a sway over all speech...

BUT someday this proficient silence has to be unchained...

because that's the moment when

PERSEVERANCE BECOMES PASSION...

THORN BECOMES THRONE..

AND A DILEMMA FLOWERS OUT A PROCLAMATION...

Still sitting in the same corner...

It peeks into the heart of every onlooker...

searching for an apt custodian...

In that grayish night...

and the night lamp's blinding flashy light...

silence holds its throb as a ragged lean catches its eye...

it knew...this was the end oh its search...

he takes the 'silence' by the ocean...

silence calmly sat by his side...

this little silence was the key to his grand jostle within..

And hence he Lets it GO...

into the snarl of that sea...

BY SPEAKING....to THEE..

The flash when all his dugged in thought cloud came out...

as a cry of gratitude..an urge of anger and sometimes a shout

' this silver Silence to the Golden speech' had pulled off its goal...

AND HAD YET AGAIN RELIEVED ANOTHER SOUL...

　

　

　

　

　

　

WALKING ALONG…

WALKING  ALONG…

And yes God is around…

In the beauty of love,

In an unexplained respect…

In the devotion of work

In the heat of defeat…

In the rain of success…

In the toothless grin of a kid…

In the wrinkled skin of my grandma…

In my incapabilities…

In my fight against some,

In my acceptance for few…

In my rare tears, in my heartfelt laughs…

In the pattern on the butterfly…

In the swift of the squirrel…

In the power of  a horse…

In the watery eyes of the bride…

In the last breaths

In love…

He is ‘ALL’

He is in ‘ALL’…

Sometimes the consciousness in you…

Sometimes the advisor in you…

Sometimes the learner…

Sometimes the kid in you

Yes HE  is around and shall always be…

Just  bother to look around…J

‘KNOTS’ AND ‘CROSSES’

‘KNOTS’ AND ‘CROSSES’

The clock is ticking, so Jim goes through the planned work list…

Day begin to Day end, no climax no twist…

Making a mental note of the sequence of tasks..

“You had food”, the only question his family asks…

Utterly tired yet relieved, he finishes his meal…

And next day, God knows how, he brings in the same zeal,

Repeats the cycle again…

While outperforming the herd around…

Sometimes a capability,

Sometimes a ‘flaw’ newly found…

With Life, on the other side, he plays KNOTS AND CROSSES…

Sometimes he shines as an outstanding winner,

Sometimes adding one more to his losses..

Trying to grasp fast…

Trying to perform faster…

He still steals out 10 fantasy minutes anyway…

Every time planning to revive his college interests some day…

BUT THE CLOCK IS TICKING…

Money MATTERS and hence matters of money confine him to his cabin again…

But still he swims through monotony with a smile…

Keys swirling in one finger and the other hand going though a thick file…

Believe me, it’s hard being just an average earner…

It’s hard even after falling, to be a consistent learner…

In game after game, he begins again…

Rarely does he take an unconventional lane..

Sometimes a ‘cross’ of life ends his battles of ‘knots’

Still he doesn’t give up playing his shots…

May be the Jim, we are talking about isn’t a scientist, an industrialist or a ‘Mr. out of the crowd…

But what he is,  makes him No less proud…

YES…average is inn…

Because Never Was It Out…

So If you or me are one of these ‘just on the line’

Even scotch over years turns out better than wine…

Someday we will make our row of KNOTS…

That’s how from this venture of life, we will discover our snapshots…

SOMEDAY SOMEHOW ,WE WILL….

A TRYST WITH PASSION

A TRYST WITH PASSION

I love acting…I love being someone I am not…perhaps being something I may never be…that’s the most glorious part about it…

Harsha Bhogle rightly said that talent takes you from the runway to an inclination…passion lifts your plane to remarkable heights…

Even when m tired to hell…when my throat pains like there are actually some small species inside which is playing with my tonsils…acting gives me energy…an enthusiasm…its that moment that I realize , that giving your life to something so beautiful is “worth it” ,really…I am a sort of person who does get bothered by what people say, not much but also m not a part of that proud crowd which is unmoved by the herd’s opinion but when it comes to this aspect of my life…I m least bothered , really, I feel like giving my best to it, irrespective of whether people around me are doing that or not…I am proud of the fact that I have tasted the recipe’s of passion… sometimes in form of praise, sometimes sheer criticism, sometimes a desire to shut people’s mouth and sometimes just when nothing else made me feel that things are falling into place except the moment when I begin to act and become someone else…I don’t really know how well do I do it or how does it really come out but that’s something that I do sincerely right from the heart and it ought o come nice….

And I hope it does…..

THE ROYAL BLUE….

THE ROYAL BLUE….  

The azure sky was beautiful…

But towards something, as a kid, I was unconsciously dutiful …

Something that made me run all through my lane…

It was the whitish cloud of air, left behind by the plane…

I followed it as long as the sun and baby feet could allow…

I would wave so hard and shout no low…

But never did the pilot wave back…

I felt, must be something I lacked…

I would look at my papa and point finger in the sky…

He got me right and would answer my “why”

He would say, the plane is far too high…

And then giving up, I would take a deep sigh…

As a teenage boy, the passion grew…

What gripped me, was the country’s love

 and the AIR FORCE attire… ‘The royal blue’

I knew for sure, that no dreams stand on shallow thoughts…

Concentrated blood can make nothing better than clots…

What flows with toil will get through…

What emerged from heart has to be brought true…

And since then I was set to be up there…

With patriotism that brings in care…

Controlling the big bird, I saw once…

Like one of my motherland’s responsible sons…

PRESS FORWARD and I bring u back to today…

When me and my big bird are ready to play…

An AIR WAR awaits us…

My Royal Blue hanged in my closet, ready to be worn…

It was 3 am and I was waiting for the dawn…

At sharp 5, I was all dressed…

A single strand of thought flows, nothing messed…

The stars all set on the right shoulder…

I give a fleeting look to my honorary certificates kept in a folder…

A single strand of thought still flows…

Towards my fighter aircraft, the walk is measured and slow…

But an abrupt resistance baffles me…

What is it…?

No, it isn’t a trigger in the body, but a shot in the thought…

Is it a resistance from bravado…?

Or a resistance to kill...

Is it the fear of entering into the coffin or sending someone into it…?

The single strand of thought is no more there…

But somehow i reach the air stair...

Somehow i muster up the courage and take controls...

Explaining thyself that i am not running from my goals..

And hence the revved up engine lifted up the plane...

The opponent’s fighter was radar detected again...

But i did not trigger the missile...

It was a clean shot...

But “i will not kill" took me over in a while... 

I don’t know why but we, I and my fighter trace back the way….

The Royal Blue is back in the hanger, got no role to play…

I sit on the wooden chair…

A tear drops amidst of self glare …

“This rush of insight  has threw me hard..

Does that badges me with ‘traitor’ and not a guard…”

With the study lamp, warming the page, I hold the ink pen again…

To scribble the UNACCOUNTABLE 3 words…

“WHAT WAS IT…?”

"ME-YOU"..

           “ME-YOU…”               

Cuddling my hair with care,

Suddenly I went into raptures with your stare…

I ignored u, just to show…

But inside, something happened from head to toe…

I walked past you, gathering my diluted attention…

I smiled at myself, joking at my intentions…

Another day, secretly…I crossed you again…

Not that you made me insane…

But you made me smile back at me…

I would try my best to know, “If you too did see”…

A week passed and I saw u heading a show…

That day I realized, the lid of curiosity was about to blow…

So I planned to meet…

The feeling wasn’t less than jumping off feet…

So I had set up a meeting, through my saviors, my friends..

Concealing my identity, they were supposed to pretend…

You did not know, the girl was ‘me’…that’s exactly where I wished…

The whole surprise to be…

All set, dressed in velvet red..

More than the accessories, I preferred wearing a smile instead…

I glanced at the mirror, looking back at me…

And just wishing…u will see ‘your girl’ in me…

Lilies in hand…I swiftly got off the stairs…

Just then…my sight landed on the roses kept in pairs…

I saw you, through those red petals…

With my heart beat abruptly settled…

Shocked at how the scene took a turn..

We shyly smiled…as people on the way…gave us a look so stern…

Amazed at this…

I wonder at God’s plans in bliss…

True, falling for someone in the first sight is God’s sign…

But what ran over all levels of achievement is…when you said.. “you are mine…” 

UNSEAL THE CLOSET

UNSEAL THE CLOSET... 
In  a grayish state of  mind, trying to distract myself…as I try putting my things back to their places in our messed up room…I see a  crumbled piece of paper hiding itself in the corner…

Sometimes your own writings come as a surprise to you and best still when you need to learn from them the most…

“Whenever I suppressed...

  It intensified the blast”

Unseal The Closet

Bottled my thoughts …

Tried keeping them under severe knots….

Conceived that the eyes and ears should do the talking…

Even GOD stood at the closet of my heart, knocking

But I  preferred to zip my tongue

Better to keep silence in a song , everyone sung

Ran from being clicked..

Ran from being talked about...

Loved to observe…

 wished to be different from the crowd..

 Didn’t ever feel that an inch about all I said above is misfigured …

Wasn’t ever ready for ideals for my LIFE to flicker

But the four letter word had mysteries planned…

Amazed I stood in GOD’S  witness stand…

Wasn’t really easy to twist  my  bottled seal..

“Why words to express ,what I feel…??”

May be merry  and zeal…

Also suppressing  the worst I feel..

 Bottled my thoughts…

Tried keeping them under severe knots…

By now…to the cork, the bottled thoughts had touched…

Making the cork un-clutched…

I made this moment to pause…

Each moment… an encounter with my flaws..

What I saw was erratic…

The seal had weakend, the notch did break…

Oh Jesus, I felt my  life at stake…

Bottled was my mind…

What was pushing to  ooze out, was my peace…

I saw it begging at knees…

No longer could the moment be paused…

And as u read this…a moment  more has crossed..

And hence  it blew off..

Though the blast resounded..

But From within…noises went off…

If only I could, in that bottle, had made a pin hole..

If I could have sneaked a little into  my very own  soul

If the needle of the clock could be reversed…

The bottled thoughts would have skipped d the  sudden outburst…

If I would have disclosed, a part of what I genuinely feel...

May be the little untouched wounds,would have healed…

Bottled were the thoughts…

Severe were the knots…

But who suffered…??

There in HIS  COURT...god whispered to me:------

May be a felt smile, full of zeal.....

Why subdue the thoughts , “reveal…”

 Though rarely, but  do Loosen the seal..

Pour out an expression of what u feel….

Because:------

Through those mere syllables..,

the world reads u…

 For some, it means a silent blink..

 but also define this silence for few..

Cause it Brings u closer to the ones already dear…

Sometimes an expression missed …and what remains is a speechless tear…

A speechless tear…

Life does not give you second chances…either you pick it up or life picks at you…

(  Dedicated to my  three introvert friends…)

DRIFT….

Just a little silence gives solution to so many problems, pondered and discussed…

A drop of happy tear…expresses more than words could ever do…

That little orange line in the dawn, shows sun’s arrival…

The mere hope that paves to success…

A little drift about…do I really actually…makes it actually happen…

Love felt…

A smile shared…

A secret expressed…courage dared…

Just a little drift….

RHAPSODY....

RHAPSODY……

A prayer with feel…

A play with zeal….

A look not to see, but to watch…

If hiding, be it a perfect dodge….

If stalking, follow till the breath goes away…

If running, sprint till the stalker gets out of your way….

If it’s about laughter, it does matter, how horrible you looked…

If it’s about tears, let them, flow off hooked…

If it’s about not wanting something, make it next to never…

If it’s about heartfelt wanting something, make it your best mentionable endeavour….

If it’s about life and death, don’t awe from standing at the verge…

If it’s about standing on the waves, don’t be scared of a surge…

If it’s about faith…let it not be blind…

And once it is fostered, stop questioning it through mind…

If it’s about love, love till the last breath…

If  its about  failing…don’t give up before death….

Love even amidst of all responsibilities…

Let true love enhance your abilities…

BUT….if it’s about diplomacy,I would wish you lose on that…..

If it’s about drowning on telling the truth, I would wish, U drown in that…

If it’s about stealing to earn, I wont wish you luck…

If it’s about winning by using others, better remain struck…

because in the end…its not ‘ YOU AND THE PEOPLE’ but ‘YOU AND THE GOD’

and I don’t want you to be hedious up there…

because HE prefers…honesty and sacrifice over hypocrisy somewhere…

I wish that u stand there in all valor, in all integrity…

Let HIM look at you…in poise , not in pity…

RANDOM

may be what we had was better...less complex...more simple...more eventful,less thoughtful..
when we rarely had to think over...how to stay happy....when it was a default case...:)
things change...situations change...and so do the people...
but some thing inside strives to get back all dat has gone....
and it will keep striving for it....

ABOUT A GIRL…

ABOUT A GIRL…

Yes, we are a little more emotional, a pinch more sentimental than all you guys…

Yes we love adventure, but we do love sitting back with the family at times…

Yes, we hear to all logics, said and heard…

But we do prefer to have a say of our heart at times…

Yes, we love it when muma sat behind to make our pony tails, and we chatted about our homework…

Yes, we love it when we bade her goodbye through the window of the school bus…

We love it when papa pats our back...

Yes we love it when someone genuinely praises us for our knack…

Yes we need girls as friends because they love and retort at the right times…

Yes we need guy friends, because they keep us cheerful…

Although, we present the outlook of an independent girl…

But we do need someone to give a tight hug, when life backfires at us…

Although we hate, when someone comments at us…

But we die to hear a compliment from someone we adore…

We aren’t so complex…but we do seem complicated…

We don’t wish everyone to solve the mystery we are…

But YES…we do expect it from special few…. 

So What…

What If…

So What…

With my chin rested on my hands…

Trying to untie the thought strands….

I drop the analysis of the fleeting thoughts…

Tired in life, of merely joining the well laid dots…

I sit down to create a prose…

Rightly balancing my spectacles at nose…

With eyes rolled towards the ceiling…

Out of nowhere, emerges a feeling…

‘What if’’ I could read what goes on in people’s mind….

And the secret is if they don’t get to know my side…

Would it not skip all the crap, I talk with people uninterested …

Would it not save me from people, blindly trusted…?

Would it not save me from hurting people, when I don’t intend to…

Would it not tell me in advance that the sky’s going to be grey or blue…?

Would it not skip the countless court appeals…?

Would it not reveal the contents of the surprise meal…?

Would it not save me from intense study sessions…?

Would it not save me from irrationally logical depressions…?

Would it not bring me success without sipping falls…?

Would it not’ even in adversity’ make me stand tall…

Because I would know, what goes on in the evil brain…?

Would it not always keep me in ‘sane’…?

When people won’t say a word…and I would still read them all…

When lack of expression no longer remains a wall…

Would it not pull down my flaws…pondering a little, I thereby pause…

Reality is mine and also the dream…

Just add “what if “and reality is what the dream would seem…

So I decided to plead god to use his magic wand…

Thrilled, I stood in his witness stand…

And silencing my thrill…god spared time to reply to me…

“FUN is….

When you dance in the rain, without umbrella…

When u sip the hot coffee, and there u make a face to be laughed at…

When even after a fight, next to the same friend u sat…

When u trusted amidst of gravest doubts…

When your mind eternally said, forget the rest, follow the inner sound…

When u erased as a kid, and the page was torn…

When while setting your hair in the rear view mirror, u suddenly overhear the horn…

When u felt…fell and lost…

But something inside, wanted winning at any cost…

So u embarked again…

And passionately, again u were insane…

Do u want me to take off this fun...?

Life is like the orange lining before sun…

It merely depicts dawn…

Let the arrival of clouds be a mystery…let it remain a mystery…

Getting what u expect may be fun…

But getting what u didn’t ever expect…

Is the real fun…

Dawn is expected….

But are u wishing for rain…

Or are u scared of the unexpected pain..

Let the first drop be a mystery...let the unexpected create a history…

A WALK TO REMEMBER

A WALK TO REMEMBER

I am astonished at how landon could love jami to a limitless extent….. today i learnt  that commitment  to a relationship is not a boundation(as I thought of earlier) but a willingness in every small bit to make the other person happy…..its not about your beauty….how much income you

bring home….how ravishing or ruthless is your past….all these may be the initial starters….. ‘the initial deciding factors’ for love to happen…..but what drives the already started engine is faith…a faith that says sum special person would always be there with you in your worst times…love doesn’t see time….how early or how late…. It just happens…

what it sees is an eternal devotion of two people for one another…..a love based on just the starting  factors is hollow and foundationless…infact love is  about doing something for the sole purpose of giving  the other person ,a wonderful memory….the movie isn’t just about adolescent love but  shows the very emotions of

a  father –daughter love….the father is left with   tears while memorizing the daughter’s face when she was born…..love is away from materialism ….true love mines out honesty even from  each of us….in .true love ..there is inspiration to be good…not  about faking being good but about real good…and if you partner’s good is

ur creativity enhancer + your partner’s happiness source than nothing beats it……… friends…..i think those relationships wud survive where the two people respect each other…and not merely crave for being together for a while and then breaking off and starting afresh…

They name it variety…I name it lack

of honesty…..these people are loosers…..infact  they are unfortunate enough to  not  taste true love in the rare lifetime of a human from closed fists to open hands……

Whenever you have an infatuation for someone, do a reality check

*check 1----would you be ready to support this person in his/her worst

times by putting your comfort at stake…

*check 2----would you love that person to the same limitless extent as you do now if his/her face had  a wrinkled skin…a protruding belley…a not so charming appearance....

And the answer would vanish  your doubt…..!!!!

VALENTINE'S DAY

The path that is narrow is hard to follow..
broad vision is an outlet to ur real self…
we love our circle of ppl…dnt we?
But what abt the handicapped kids who were supposed to be like us ..or the old ppl 
whom the society ignores just because they have played their part and r worth nothing but just a corner in an old age home…

guys… love is nt just u and her…or u and him…
but an entire strata of ppl looking up to u for that love…

love …because love moves the world …

fr little kids..if not money…but just a glance full of care…
not your luxuries but time to share…
if u cant donate in lakhs…atleast their school fees…
gift them dignity wen u talk to them…
gift them a smile wen u walk thru dem…
let they be ur valentine nt just on 14th feb…
but each day…

the misery of a child is interesting to a mother,the misery of a young man is 
interesting to a young woman,and the misery of an old man is
intersting to nobody....

so just lend them a glance…
an ear to hear their stories and words to boost them up again..

and in this …….
We all r together….
U ARE NOT ALONE…
(And den the song follows)